Guest Post: the Charisma Roadmap

Guest Blog written today by a Chicago heart, a power force of possibility and my rad friend, Debra Kosek.  She is literally a leader in the law of attraction for life and can be found on her blog, Live in the Listening.  Read on and enjoy: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yes and yes, please and thank you.

Charisma…it’s the magic behind strength, influence, and a strong leadership voice.

It’s also been an EPIC time suck; a recurring theme in my career that I assumed had to be shown, emulated, and mirrored.  Way too subjective to coach around, and as the definition says, inherent.

That is, until last week… when a friend passed me the book Leadership Charisma, right a time when I NEEDED to learn that lesson. I needed to learn it for time management at work, and for balance in my life. Weird how that always happens…

And on my ever-evolving adventure that is “figuring out how to be a leader,” I saw how narrow-minded I was. Charisma is not overly obscure, there ARE clear steps to mastering it, and I knew I had to share ASAP.

So here’s my best shot at “bottom-lining” my take-aways and life lessons learned. Broken down into a guide, a roadmap, a Top 10 List for OWNing your most charismatic leadership voice…at work, in your community, in life:

1. Set goals…and a vision epidemic

Figure out what your vision for the future is going to be. Create it, control every moment, and live into it with passion. Strike while the iron is hot, capitalize on momentum, and move towards it.  That is the rock solid foundation for self-confidence and charisma. Know where you want to go, and how you want to stand out. “A leader succeeds only when he or she makes people excited and confident in what comes next.”  Marcus Buckingham

2. CREATE.

Create an environment where people are emotionally committed to the same goals. Inspire the very best, and create an energetic field of optimism. Choose to be confident and share it in a way that leaves others feeling confident.  Optimism is so attractive!  Be positive and light up those around you. No downside. Start now. “The opposite of a leader isn’t a follower; the opposite of a leader is a pessimist…”

3. Communicate, radiate, touch.

Make eye contact, and build trust with others through communication. Use touch when words don’t get the point across. Smile (with your eyes). Radiate and make others radiate when you’re around.  Speak from the HEART, use powerful gestures and, do NOT forget that you’re a 10. Exude and practice. Keep experts around.

4. Be engaging.

Out to have an impact on others? Get people engaged so they achieve results not thought to be possible before you were around.  Have some fun doing it. Engage people in your vision, and communicate to them how theirs fits into it. Develop meaningful relationships, understand goals, dreams, commitments, and make absolutely sure they know their role in it all.

5. L-I-S-T-E-N.  be a listener and be generous.  

Make others feel like what they have to say is valuable. And be present. Give your time and attention strategically, and when you give it, give it 110%. Solicit ideas from others. Give time to someone who you’re out to inspire and understand what’s important to them. Know them better than they know themselves and work together to create a future they didn’t think was possible.  My pal. Linds is the best at this.

6. Be Open and TRUST.

Be someone who takes all perspectives into account before making a decision. Open up to the fact that others have opinions that are just as valid as yours. Acknowledge those around you who make you better at being YOU, and remind them why their contribution is essential. Extending trust breeds trust. “Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it themselves.”  Stephen R. Covey

7. Cultivate strength.

Know what makes you great. And, know what makes other people great. Understand people’s strengths. Marry them with yours.  Leverage them.  And remember that our biggest strengths are also our biggest weaknesses. Share with people where they’re killing it and where there is work to be done. And don’t forget to share where you are in development, as well.

 8. Be enthusiastic and do what you love.

Have you ever met a charismatic person who wasn’t passionate, enthusiastic, and decisive? Me neither. I am irresistibly attracted to those who emanate energy and confidence. How to master it? Do what you love.  Invest your life in something that inspires you. Build people’s enthusiasm around you, and keep people around who build yours. BE the catalyst to people’s best confidence by connecting them to things that light them up.  #joblove

9. Get possible, take ACTION, and be adaptable.

Choose possibility in every situation. Focus on what could be.  Don’t take your eye off the prize when setbacks come up. Keep optimism as fuel and choose to bounce back. READ books, read websites, read blogs that inspire you to take action. Openly take risks that inspire innovation, and don’t be afraid to look bad.  In the face of adversity, take quick action, clean up incompletion and regain control. Remember that you’re the expert. Be impatient, and unapologetically forward driven.

10. sweat once a day.

Optimism takes a TON of energy, keep that energy flow happenin’. Sleep and workout, do yoga, and always make time for the things that make you feel balanced.

I Love Trees: The Oak

As a child, I grew up under a large Oak Tree in Texas.  The branches stretched far and wide to provide shade not only in my front yard, but out onto my neighborhood block, as well.  It was a strong foundation for a swing and the while annoying to see ‘rake leaves’ on chore list from the Mother force, it was quite a sight to see every Fall.

I remember my sidewalk being covered in these little acorns all the time that fell from the tree.  They were a bear to walk over barefoot and left stains on the concrete.  What I do not think I knew then that I realize now, is those same acorns holds the seeds to the magnificent Oak Tree.  This grand-daddy of a tree staring back at me with roots that crack a sidewalk, branches that reach clear across the street and up in the sky, and a trunk that takes 4 Christmas lights strands alone, came from one tiny acorn.

Beautiful.

As time seems to fly by,  I realize I am in such a rush to be one huge, large Oak Tree now, now, now!   And yet, I am reminded by good ol’ Ralph Waldo Emerson, “the creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn”.

How beautiful that the trees know possibility and patience like this.

Oh, how much we can learn from the trees….

#possibility

Live Your Verbs!

A strength:  something that makes you feel strong.

The question is, are you living your strengths?  Are you doing what lights YOU up every day?

My strengths are:  coaching, connecting, listening for passion and possibility, event planning, presenting, writing, enrolling, reading, learning, and activating.

How do I know?  Because any time I live in these actions, I vibrate on a different level of life.  These moments leave me invigorated, energized and absolutely juiced on life.  I stand in a space after coaching or connecting, after activating or learnings something new, while presenting and enrolling – and I feel that I am doing exactly what I should be doing at this moment for the World.   #lifelove

Thus, these action verbs most definitely LIGHT.  ME.  UP. 

 And when I take a look at this list, I want these verbs in my day-to-day, in my life’s work, and in my action plans.  Starting now. 

What action verbs light you up?   Write them down.

Get up to them.  Be in action.  Live your life. 

Rock your strengths!  Live your verbs!

Project Inspiration: my Mother, Marti Carr

As I dig deep and look into who I really am, I look into who I invest my time with and how they have moved me in what I have called Project Inspiration.

I wanted to take this time to tell you how my mother, Marti Carr has inspired me and been a part of my life evolution. You probably have one of these: the do-everything-talk-through-anything-ridiculously-good-looking-super-woman-best-friend-rockstar of a Mom. Let’s compare notes.

Dear Mom,

You are the beginning. There for the first breath, to the first step, my first dance recital and as my PE teacher, from boyfriends to the mother/daughter talks to friendship.

You’re my hero, Mom.

What I wanted to let you know is that who you are, has and continues to shape who I am every day.

You love what you do and you do it damn well. You are a great teacher. And you are a teacher not only to your students, but your friends and family, as well. You teach from your heart, you teach for greatness and you are ones of this life’s greatest leaders. The passion you have inspires me to live a passionate life in all domains, even when it is not easy.

Mom, you cry at everything. Absolutely everything. Your tear ducts are on overload and it is a beautiful thing. Some people see crying as a weakness, relate it to pain or sadness. I look at your tears and see you feeling life. Allowing life, people, love and conversation to move you to an emotional state, and it is so empowering. I used to be naively proud of ‘never crying’ because I am so ‘macho’ or ‘hardcore’. Lame. Now I look to feel, be and have more moments in life that rock my emotions. Thank you for being open and feeling the World around you; it inspires me to do the same.

My life evolution has been so interesting, as I am sure most can relate when their relationship with their parents begins to shift to a radical friendship. I recall watching you teaching when I was young as one of your many students during Lap Day standing for kids’ health, watching you at 6am when we used to work out together before school and we were quite the mother/daughter duo, and watching us now in conversation for possibilities at the kitchen island in our home. You are there for it all, you are my Mother, my teacher, my hero, my friend. The ability to shift and transform in relationship is one that takes patience, listening and kindness. Noted and you are appreciated to the infinite.

I am in love with your relationship with Dad. Quite the pair, I am grateful for the life I have, the family you both built and foundation you have paved for me. You both hold hands, kiss in public and smile at one another. I hope that Chris and I are as much in love as you and Dad are 28 years later.

And finally, Mom, I love you. As I sit here thinking of my final note to type out – I cannot put words together. Tears scurry down my face behind my horn-rimmed thick glasses, my heart beats a beat faster and I sit here in such gratitude and amazing peace for a mom, a family and a life that moves me to tears. I am you, crying over something I cannot explain. And that is beautiful. Thank you.

Thank you for giving me life and loving me, Mom. I am inspired every single day by you, your work for possibility and greatness, your stand for your family and your ability to shift and cry over the unexplained in this beautiful life that Mom built. You are my mother, my teacher, my hero, and my friend and I am forever grateful for you.

As you continue to rock in this life, keep being who you are. And I promise that I will do the same.

Your Inspired Daughter,
Jacki Carr

Mom + Dad = LOVE

Family

Happy Mother’s Day!

Adventure: Project Inspiration

I had a moment last night.  Or, it could be a culmination of moments in the past weeks in which I was really questioning, exploring and demanding answers of human possibility.  My own human possibility and who I want to be, who I am … for the World.

A Mumford & Sons song lyric played on repeat in my head:

“where you invest your love, you invest your life…”

So, I have decided to dive into the evolution of Jacki Carr and take a deeper look at where I have invested my life.

In doing so, the next adventures will be coined: Project Inspiration.

You’ll see….

Adventure: Feel a Goal

I live and breathe goals. I think ‘possibility‘ might be my favorite word of ALL time.

Now, in living in a space of possibility, I share my goals…daily. One goal of mine is: I move to Colorado by April 2014.

This past weekend, I spent my time in Denver, Estes Park and Boulder, Colorado. I took deep sweet breaths of that mountain air. I did yoga daily at the Yoga Journal Conference and yes, I even got feathers put into my hair and put peppermint oil in my water. I embraced that Colorado life.

What I wanted to share about this trip turned adventure was the goosebumps I felt each day. The smile that came across my face each morning when I looked out my lodge window and saw the mountainous mountains, the wildlife of elk all over the YMCA Estes Park campus, and the sunshine every day all day. I wanted to share my future with you and the amazing feeling I felt there knowing with all the confidence in the Universe that I will live there with my (future) husband, a family, and a dog and we will hike, ski, snow shoe, camp and all that is Colorado!!

Go feel a goal. Go do it right now. Breathe it in….breathe it in like that fresh mountain air. Smile and live in a space of possibility for your best life.