Tag Archives: love

Embrace Holidays: Heart to Heart

I once read somewhere that hugging another person allows a sense of relaxation, the slowing of the heart beat and a warmth from the exchange of love.

Holidays bring so many hugs and I have to wonder if this feeling of less stress, an open + vulnerable heart and very clear skin are a direct result of all the hugging.  I do wonder.  And well, I do believe so.

Every embrace has been nourishment to my sweet soul this holiday season.

I wrote about my sweet friend, Sarita last year and how she taught me to hug, like this:

“…I mean, hugs all around….to a full on, heart to heart, close your eyes ‘embrace’.  The embrace goes about 4 seconds longer than any normal hug you may be used to.  Almost to that point of awkward, questioning if this is still happening and why is it taking so long as I will see her tomorrow type hug.  And then you realize that its Sarita, making sure you truly feel loved in a moment.  And you are forever transformed to hug everyone four seconds longer.  Thank you for teaching me the beauty of human embrace and for the extra four seconds.”

And thus, I send you a hug that lasts four seconds too long.

I send you love, deep and scary + vulnerable love.

I send you honest conversation and a commitment to rock 2013 together.

And as we close this holiday season, it is not too late to hug longer, love harder and feel it, for real.

JackiBaileyHugSnow

 

 

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Listen. Listen Harder.

The lighting was low, the space was crowded and the atmosphere was a bit posh.

We were seated amongst the conversations, outdoors on the patio near a fire pit with a single lit candle on the wooden table.

My heart beats for this man I am with and it was his birthday.  As we leaned in to share iPhone light to read the menu, I felt the room slowly melt away.

His half smile and thus crooked moustache stared back at me in the dark.  In that moment, it was just me and  him.  Him and me.  Just us.

We talked for hours.  He shared about his favorite parts of the year, we talked about our communication breakdowns and most amazing breakthroughs, and painted our clear and radical future.  We talked about everything and then we talked about nothing.  I cried silently inside with the utmost gratitude for this life, for this man and for this moment.   Reality check, was it my birthday?

While smiling now and remembering the moments by the fire pit, I realized how beautifully and intently I was listening.  Hanging on to every word he spoke, we spoke.  Listening so hard.

And it was and is a beautiful irony that we connected on such an intimate level in such the public space that would seemingly not allow it.

Just him and me.  Me and him.

I say, let the rooms melt.  Listen.  Listen so much harder.

ListenHarder2.

Note to Self

 

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Filed under Gratitude, Love, Present

Misconstrued Moment of Me, Me, Me

A story about self-indulgence and not being present.

I flew home back to LA last night from holidays in Houston with my family.  My plane was slightly delayed and I had checked baggage, which I will tell you over and over again, never check bags to LAX.  It takes forever.

Anyways, I finally arrive home last night to my sweet and quaint apartment in Venice with my dog and boyfriend waiting for me at the front door.  They help this weary holiday traveler with luggage, much needed hugs and a momentary shared happiness to be home.

And then I spiraled.  I came in pretty charged from a long flight, conversations rambling in my head about some drama and a need to complain.   Oh, and complain I did for about an hour too long to my patient and sleepy boyfriend.

In waking up this morning, I am in utter awe and really sad as to what I missed last night amidst my bullsh*t complaining and lame vent session. 

It goes like this:

+  I missed out on how clean the house was when I walked in.  Eat-food-off-the-floor clean.

+ I missed out on the smell of a clean puppy, as my boyfriend had given him a bath earlier that day.

+ I missed out on the empty laundry basket and the fresh sheets I got to climb into.  Even worse, Chris had waited to pull back the sheets so we could climb into the Mountain Fresh fabric softener smell together.  Dear boyfriends of the World, are you taking notes?

+ I missed out on a full fridge stocked with delicious snacks for my work day the next day.  Sweetheart, thank you for the bacon.  I love you.

+ I missed out on showering my boyfriend with kisses and love, as I really had missed him for the 2 days we were apart.

+  I missed out on seriously praising and honestly thanking and appreciating this superman of a boyfriend for bathing the dog, cleaning the house, grocery shopping and finishing the laundry.  All of this for my arrival home.  Come on, self.

You see where I am going here?  I missed out on an epic life moment because I was too busy complaining about yesterday’s nothings.

Raise your hand if this feels somewhat oddly familiar?

How many times have we been so wrapped up in a petty yesterday’s nothing to miss what is happening right here and now?

We have choice.  We have the choice to get over it and see others.  See others beyond our own misconstrued moments of me, me, me.

Choose wisely, my friends.  Never too late to say thank you, I love you, I see you.

I’m talking to you, Mister.

Thankful for You.

 

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For the Love of Flannel

I ask you to know you are in the bigger picture and on the most beautiful path.

Please, feel the awesome that is coming and be thankful now for the journey that has gotten you here, there, everywhere.

Be patient.  Be open.  Be honest.

With yourself.  Always with others.

And for the love of flannel, smile and laugh more, eat bacon and rock today!

The bigger picture.  The right path.

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Filed under Gratitude, Happiness, Love, Possibility, Present, Self Love

Cheers to Traditions

I get impatient in early November.

I am so excited for holiday that is Thanksgiving at my parent’s house in Houston, I can barely contain myself.  My family is the real deal when it comes to traditions.  And, my family is the real deal when we are all together.  It is magic.

I sit here staring at the date in the bottom right hand of my computer, as if I am sitting in Los Angeles traffic at 5:15pm on the 10 freeway.  Willing it to move, move, move faster.

I shall share with you what excites me about the holiday of Turkey, Moustaches, and Thankful-ness:

+  Love.  I feel so much love.

+  My sisters.  There is nothing in the World that compares to the moments shared with my sisters.  Nothing.

+  When I walk through the door to my Houston home, I feel a sigh of relief come straight from my Mom’s heart to my own.  There is something about a child living far away that makes the holidays so special to her.  It is like her puzzle is finished in that moment.  I feel that.

+ And then my Dad, the life of the party at any hour.  To this day, he still makes me laugh more than any human … well, ever.  And you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine.  Always.

+ My sweet and utmost patient boyfriend in the chaos that is my loud and louder family.  He is finding his way and it steals my big heart every time.

+ My best friend of an inducted brother, Chris New joining in like he has been there forever.  He does what he wants, when he wants.  And, he makes the Paula Deen special Mac n’ Cheese.  Oh, my brother.

+ Oh, and my Dad’s best friend from his high school days in good ol’ Indiana, Mark “Ruby” Robertson comes over with a deep fry kit and a full fireman outfit.  He is jet set to deep fry the turkey!  Yes, it is true and a sight to see.

+ The Movember moustache that is my Dad, Mark “Ruby” Robertson, boyfriend and brother’s upper lip (and my left index finger) is in full effect.

+ A tradtion to sake bomb the night after Thanksgiving Dinner.  Who has room for sushi and sake?  We do.  Ready everyone:  “When I say Sake, you say Bomb, SAKE….BOMB….SAKE…BOMB!”  WARNING:  A pre-apology to anyone and everyone at the restaurant we attend this year.  Happening, Houstonians.  Waiter, waiter, can you get the bill?  No, not for us, for everyone else?  Thanks.

+  The feast.  Grateful.  Period.

+  There have been rumors of a keg being ordered for this year as a new tradition.  NOTE:  Coors Light, you are welcome, Dad.  Never going to grow up at this Thanksgiving.  I see Keg stands in our near future.  How old are we?  #glorydays

+  And that moment when we are all sitting down at dinner.  My Mom calls for someone to say Grace.  We all hold hands around the table, give thanks and feel love.

My heart beats for the holidays.  Bring it on, Thanksgiving!

Rock your traditions for any holiday and if you can, add a SAKE BOMB in there!

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Gratitude. Moustaches. Love.

Happy November to you and you and you!

Rocktober has closed, life has been lived and here we are, Movember uno.

Here they are, the updates:

1)  I am in the midst of training for the Malibu 1/2 Marathon!  10 days to go.  And yes, the boyfriend signed up!  Like I always say, a couple that runs together, stay together.  Or, we are just going to wing it and have the best brunch November 11 has ever seen.  Yes, the sub 2 hour goals still lives!

2)  Fall Soiree.  Happened.

3)  3 day cleanse = fail.  However, I rocked a one day cleanse with JuiceCrafters.  And, I found my accountability partner in my rad friend, Kristina Gong for a 3 day cleanse post 11/11.  She is rocking the Malibu 1/2, too!  Post run, bring on the juice!

4)  Chris and I did not make 2 dates.  Shoot!  Travel schedule, life, sweatpants + flannel… however, we did have one amazing date with delish food, red wine and an impulse purchase including blue leopard print jeans!  I just love love.

5) My blog friends challenged me to not accept any plastic bags for the month.  I can happily say, DONE!  I even carried broccoli in my backpack!  #gogreen

Recap:  October was absolutely unreal.  I goal coached at Yoga Journal Conference in our future life state of Colorado with the boyfriend in the audience, I cheered on one Ironman of a goal crusher at KONA 2012 and swung in a  hammock in Maui, I rocked Seattle with my team of 2 and ran with my sweet pup along the Pacific Ocean often.  I lived a full life this past October.

Let’s do it again!

In the beautiful month of November that is full of gratitude, my favorite people’s birthdays and family love; let’s get intentional here and now:

1)  I raise 500.00 for Movember with my team, “All the Eggs and Bacon You Have”.  Check it:  here.

2)  I am feeling some ink.  #tattoo

3)  I complete the Malibu 1/2 Marathon in sub 2 hours.

4)  Photo Shoot.  Charlie Brown lights.  Holiday Cards to PRINT.  Must happen.

5)   jackicarr.com goes LIVE by November 30, 2012.

6)  How will you know November?  Tell me about how we can rock gratitude, let’s get accountable!

Inspire me in the comments and share, share, share what you are going to get up to this month!

Let’s live life bigger.  Go!

Gratitude. Moustaches. Love.  November.

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To Be Real

Dear friend,

I have to tell you something.

I have been so impatient. I am impatient.  And my impatience instills fear that I will be left behind, left out, and be nothing in this World.  And my fear then transpires into stress and judgement, which then causes me to rush everything.  And in this giant rush and push to hurry up life, I leave you behind. I leave you out.  And, I actually really am nothing when I am pushing to be someone tomorrow, not today.   I am just so impatient.

And as I sit here writing this, I realize I have a question for you.

If I slow down and chill out.  If I can see what is in front of me, when I see you in front of me and love, love, love.  If I listen.  If I believe harder.  If I stumble and fall.  If I radically fail.  If I allow space and time to be space and time.  If I stop proving and stop speaking so loudly over others.  If I stop complaining and start creating.

Will you, will you wait for me

Please wait for me.

Dear World, will you wait for me?

 

Wait, Alexi Murdoch

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