Category Archives: Relationship

Misconstrued Moment of Me, Me, Me

A story about self-indulgence and not being present.

I flew home back to LA last night from holidays in Houston with my family.  My plane was slightly delayed and I had checked baggage, which I will tell you over and over again, never check bags to LAX.  It takes forever.

Anyways, I finally arrive home last night to my sweet and quaint apartment in Venice with my dog and boyfriend waiting for me at the front door.  They help this weary holiday traveler with luggage, much needed hugs and a momentary shared happiness to be home.

And then I spiraled.  I came in pretty charged from a long flight, conversations rambling in my head about some drama and a need to complain.   Oh, and complain I did for about an hour too long to my patient and sleepy boyfriend.

In waking up this morning, I am in utter awe and really sad as to what I missed last night amidst my bullsh*t complaining and lame vent session. 

It goes like this:

+  I missed out on how clean the house was when I walked in.  Eat-food-off-the-floor clean.

+ I missed out on the smell of a clean puppy, as my boyfriend had given him a bath earlier that day.

+ I missed out on the empty laundry basket and the fresh sheets I got to climb into.  Even worse, Chris had waited to pull back the sheets so we could climb into the Mountain Fresh fabric softener smell together.  Dear boyfriends of the World, are you taking notes?

+ I missed out on a full fridge stocked with delicious snacks for my work day the next day.  Sweetheart, thank you for the bacon.  I love you.

+ I missed out on showering my boyfriend with kisses and love, as I really had missed him for the 2 days we were apart.

+  I missed out on seriously praising and honestly thanking and appreciating this superman of a boyfriend for bathing the dog, cleaning the house, grocery shopping and finishing the laundry.  All of this for my arrival home.  Come on, self.

You see where I am going here?  I missed out on an epic life moment because I was too busy complaining about yesterday’s nothings.

Raise your hand if this feels somewhat oddly familiar?

How many times have we been so wrapped up in a petty yesterday’s nothing to miss what is happening right here and now?

We have choice.  We have the choice to get over it and see others.  See others beyond our own misconstrued moments of me, me, me.

Choose wisely, my friends.  Never too late to say thank you, I love you, I see you.

I’m talking to you, Mister.

Thankful for You.

 

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Filed under Gratitude, Present, Relationship

Make Friends. Boom.

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November 26, 2012 · 9:03 pm

Cheers to Traditions

I get impatient in early November.

I am so excited for holiday that is Thanksgiving at my parent’s house in Houston, I can barely contain myself.  My family is the real deal when it comes to traditions.  And, my family is the real deal when we are all together.  It is magic.

I sit here staring at the date in the bottom right hand of my computer, as if I am sitting in Los Angeles traffic at 5:15pm on the 10 freeway.  Willing it to move, move, move faster.

I shall share with you what excites me about the holiday of Turkey, Moustaches, and Thankful-ness:

+  Love.  I feel so much love.

+  My sisters.  There is nothing in the World that compares to the moments shared with my sisters.  Nothing.

+  When I walk through the door to my Houston home, I feel a sigh of relief come straight from my Mom’s heart to my own.  There is something about a child living far away that makes the holidays so special to her.  It is like her puzzle is finished in that moment.  I feel that.

+ And then my Dad, the life of the party at any hour.  To this day, he still makes me laugh more than any human … well, ever.  And you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine.  Always.

+ My sweet and utmost patient boyfriend in the chaos that is my loud and louder family.  He is finding his way and it steals my big heart every time.

+ My best friend of an inducted brother, Chris New joining in like he has been there forever.  He does what he wants, when he wants.  And, he makes the Paula Deen special Mac n’ Cheese.  Oh, my brother.

+ Oh, and my Dad’s best friend from his high school days in good ol’ Indiana, Mark “Ruby” Robertson comes over with a deep fry kit and a full fireman outfit.  He is jet set to deep fry the turkey!  Yes, it is true and a sight to see.

+ The Movember moustache that is my Dad, Mark “Ruby” Robertson, boyfriend and brother’s upper lip (and my left index finger) is in full effect.

+ A tradtion to sake bomb the night after Thanksgiving Dinner.  Who has room for sushi and sake?  We do.  Ready everyone:  “When I say Sake, you say Bomb, SAKE….BOMB….SAKE…BOMB!”  WARNING:  A pre-apology to anyone and everyone at the restaurant we attend this year.  Happening, Houstonians.  Waiter, waiter, can you get the bill?  No, not for us, for everyone else?  Thanks.

+  The feast.  Grateful.  Period.

+  There have been rumors of a keg being ordered for this year as a new tradition.  NOTE:  Coors Light, you are welcome, Dad.  Never going to grow up at this Thanksgiving.  I see Keg stands in our near future.  How old are we?  #glorydays

+  And that moment when we are all sitting down at dinner.  My Mom calls for someone to say Grace.  We all hold hands around the table, give thanks and feel love.

My heart beats for the holidays.  Bring it on, Thanksgiving!

Rock your traditions for any holiday and if you can, add a SAKE BOMB in there!

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Filed under Happiness, Relationship

Oh Snap, Watch Out

Oh snap, I have been skating the edge, people.

You know those days you have when you are just snap-happy?  No, I did not write slap-happy, I wrote snap-happy.

I have been loving to snap.  I am talking that seemingly uncontrollable nasty lash of emotional sh*t that seeps out of your mouth at a moment’s notice.  I feel my brows furrow, my jaw tighten and shoulder tense and there I go, SNAP.

And who feels the whiplash the most from these nasty snaps?

The ones closest in distance to the heart and/or vicinity of space.

I mean, WATCH OUT: friendly passersby in the street in the way of my evening run,  WATCH OUT: man driving oversized Ford truck too fast in his car behind my Vespa,  most definitely WATCH OUT: dear boyfriend, and WATCH OUT: little, innocent dog, Bear.

How is it that we can take a bad day, a bad hair cut, a blemish or a broken toenail and somehow shift, switch and shove it as blame on to other people?

I am like Rice Krispies over here… SNAP, KRACKLE, POP!

Been there before?  No?  I don’t believe you.

And as I sit here and write about the emotion, the feeling, the who, the blame game, the body triggers and the irritation;  I realize that I have not taken a moment to truly recognize and realize what is making me so snappy.

Take a minute.  Take 2 minutes to recognize and realize why you might snap here, snap there, snap everywhere.  Recognize in the here, there and everywhere that the common denominator is Y-O-U.

Who, me?

Yes, me.

And here I go, I can switch gears and realize that somehow, someway, that boyfriend and dog I love to snap at, still love me.  As Chris sits ever-so-patient next to me and Bear curls up on the other side,  I can say sorry for the attitude, right now.   I can recognize that hungry me is irritable.  I know that when I don’t work out and sweat it out, I am cranky to the max.  And when the cup runneth over, the stress does, too.

Take the time to recognize and realize what the snap?

And, tomorrow is a new day to try it a bit of a different way.

Tried and true ideas to UN-snap:

get on the yoga mat, a run with the dog, a great 80’s song, a sweet kiss, a delicious snack, a deep breath, a glass of vino, a romp in the sheets, write a blog post, read a blog post, a bike ride, and/or, perhaps a good book…

I say, less Rice Krispies reaction, more love.

How do you UN-snap?

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Adventure: Colorado Allergies

I recently returned from a trip to Steamboat Springs, Colorado with my man, Chris Hynes.  We were on an adventure.  We camped for 5 days.  Yes, in a tent.  We hiked all over (10 milers, 4 milers…).  Hit the local bars and  sipped sweet cocktails.  There were sweet naps on park benches and conversations on big blankets by the Yampa River.

Now, let me tell you something – it is dry in Colorado.  There was heat, cotton balls flying all over the air and allergies.  I was scolding the second day of our trip as I was literally puffy eyes, runny nose and clogged ears.  I was miserable.  I told my man to go do something fun and leave me to my sinus mess.

He said, “No way.  I’m with you, babe.”.

I smile.  Chris is a very patient, loving and compassionate dude.  He stuck it out with me and really took care of me.  It was a hard lesson to learn.  We were there in our favorite state that is CO, we were hiking and enjoying the mountains and folksy music blasting from our rental car.  Then, I got sick and proceeded to the level of angry when I saw our joyous vacation go up in sneezes.

And then, I let go.

I allowed space and let Chris take care of me.  Love me.  We may not have been hiking up the tallest mountain in Vibrams or raging down a river in some cool float boat that day.  But in a moment in time, laying on his lap and taking a sweet nap by the river, I woke up, found myself drooling on his leg and looked up and thanked him for letting me sleep mid-day on our precious vacation together (and, also for letting me drool on his boardshorts).  I thanked him for letting me be sick, so that I could actually let me be sick.

And the next day, we hiked again.

Learn to let go.  Allow space for others.

Try it and be loved.

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Simple Truths

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Freedom + Relationship

Freedom + Relationship.

The words used to look awkward next to one another.

In the past, I believe I misunderstood relationships, okay – I know I did.  I declared them to be an ultimate compromise. I said to myself, “relationships steal your true identity”. Or, “relationships put you in a box and you can’t make your own decisions, much less create your own life”. The old saying, “the old ball and chain”. These gnarly thought patterns at that time, were my truth.

Yet, I realized this morning, in a snap shot of life, as Chris kissed me good-bye and  he turned right down the street on his bike to go coach CrossFit and I turned left on my scooter to go flow on my yoga mat, that we are free.

And I realized, I have never felt such freedom in a relationship, ever.  Maybe in my entire life?  A truth re-created.

I wanted to share with you that it is the most overwhelming and beautiful feeling I have ever felt.  Being loved and respected by someone in a way that embraces your true self, your love of independence, your quirks, ticks and passions.  And even your emotional breakdowns, your stinky feet when you wear purple Vans without socks and your classic romantic comedy movie choices on Netflix over their documentary about World War II.   Even then, still loves you because that is you.

And in this fill-up-my-heart-space-until-tears-spill-from-my-eyes-while-writing-this-blog-post relationship, I am free, free as I’ll ever be.  And it feels so right.  It is so right to feel this way.

Be you in love.  Be free in love.

Beautiful.

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Filed under Gratitude, Love, Relationship