Tag Archives: let go

Adventure: Colorado Allergies

I recently returned from a trip to Steamboat Springs, Colorado with my man, Chris Hynes.  We were on an adventure.  We camped for 5 days.  Yes, in a tent.  We hiked all over (10 milers, 4 milers…).  Hit the local bars and  sipped sweet cocktails.  There were sweet naps on park benches and conversations on big blankets by the Yampa River.

Now, let me tell you something – it is dry in Colorado.  There was heat, cotton balls flying all over the air and allergies.  I was scolding the second day of our trip as I was literally puffy eyes, runny nose and clogged ears.  I was miserable.  I told my man to go do something fun and leave me to my sinus mess.

He said, “No way.  I’m with you, babe.”.

I smile.  Chris is a very patient, loving and compassionate dude.  He stuck it out with me and really took care of me.  It was a hard lesson to learn.  We were there in our favorite state that is CO, we were hiking and enjoying the mountains and folksy music blasting from our rental car.  Then, I got sick and proceeded to the level of angry when I saw our joyous vacation go up in sneezes.

And then, I let go.

I allowed space and let Chris take care of me.  Love me.  We may not have been hiking up the tallest mountain in Vibrams or raging down a river in some cool float boat that day.  But in a moment in time, laying on his lap and taking a sweet nap by the river, I woke up, found myself drooling on his leg and looked up and thanked him for letting me sleep mid-day on our precious vacation together (and, also for letting me drool on his boardshorts).  I thanked him for letting me be sick, so that I could actually let me be sick.

And the next day, we hiked again.

Learn to let go.  Allow space for others.

Try it and be loved.

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Filed under Adventures, Present, Relationship

The Ride of Letting Go

Remember when you were a kid and that freedom you found in two wheels?  The ultimate sense of accomplishment once you had your training wheels off the bike and you could go anywhere (within yelling distance of the house, that is).  I recall testing the waters and riding with one hand on my bike.  “Look Mom and Dad, one hand!”  Then, I remember trying to ride with no hands.  I would slow the wheels way down and take both hands very cautiously and hover for 1.7 seconds right over the handlebars, then immediately back down.  Phew.  Then I would linger with both hands all the way to 3 seconds.  Back down.  It was so scary and oh, so invigorating to dance in between the lines of comfortable control and the adventurous unknown.

As I have grown, I wonder what happens when you don’t want to let go of the handlebars of control?  Ever?

I often feel that I am driving this bike of life and I just cannot take my hands off the handlebars.  I want to meticulously audit and monitor every turn, every action and every goal.  Why do I do that?  When I sit here and think about it, I feel it is because I don’t want to get hurt, fall down and fail, or perhaps, the absolute fear of the unknown.  If I know exactly what is going to happen and where I am going with my hands properly placed on the handlebar, then I can truly plan out my happiness.  Forever.  Right?

Wait, what about the beauty of the unexpected?  How do I dwell in the shine of possibility and remain open, if I am stuck in my own controlling plans?  What might happen if I take the road less traveled or perhaps veer off my carefully charted life course?  Or even let go and *gasp* let my heart drive, not my hands?  Let *double gasp* trust and faith in the my body, my listening, God and the Universe drive?

I close my eyes and recall that moment when I went 10 feet with no hands.  I truly trusted my body, trusted myself and really let go.  When I see myself there on that purple Huffy bike in my neighborhood, both scared and excited.  And, I see that I was sitting straight up, no hands – literally leading with the heart.  It is beautiful.

So, why am I riding with both hands on the handlebar when playing with the 3 second handlebar hover is an invigorating life adventure?

I think it is time to let go, take both hands off the bar, and trust that I know my body, I believe in my choices and I will be in the right place at the right time, because I will arrive by leading with my big, juicy and open heart.

“Look, look Mom and Dad, no hands!”

Now, is this what being present feels like?

I say, just Let. go.

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Filed under Adventures, Goals, Possibility

Adventure: Thank-FULL-ness

Sometimes, life hits you with gratitude like a lightning bolt. 

BOOM … BANG … TEARS

Let me set the stage for you:  I had just left the Yoga Journal Conference, driving along in my rental SUV, Dodge NITRO through the winding roads that take you from Estes Park to the Denver Airport.  The views were unreal – lake on my left, montain peaks to my right, and people playing oustide everywhere along the way.  On the radio is blasting Pitbull’s, ‘Give Me Everything’ featuring Ne-Yo; I know, random.

And all of a sudden in this very moment, my body just filled up with gratitude. 

My heart starts to swell and beat a beat faster and tears dive down my face.  I’m literally wrapped in a moment of thank-FULL-ness.  I think about and mentally thank my loving boyfriend, who deals with more personalities than any human should, my there for you any time, all the time family, and my radical friends who call me, invite me on adventures and offer high fives daily.  I look at where I am driving, this insanely gorgeous landscape that I get to drive through for work, how lucky am I?  So happy I left the heels and slacks to feather earrings and strech pants.  More tears.  The amazing people in my life, a job that I love to wake up to every day, my happy hamstrings open and free, as I had just rocked out three juicy days of yoga….Could I very well be the most grateful human right now in this moment?

I smile at the dude in front of me in the red SUV dancing to his music and waving his left arm out the window in the wind.  I turn Ne-Yo up and breathe it in, too.

Here is the kick, in that moment, I let go.  I let go of everything and felt the monster rush that was the gratitude lighting bolt.  I allowed myself to cry…by myself… in the car.   I gave myself permission to feel love and be thankFULL. 

When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel loved?  Feel insane gratitude?  Love your life?  Cry in the car by yourself?

Well, I highly recommend it.

From my Car Window!

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Filed under Adventures, Gratitude, Happiness, Love