Semantics: I’m Sorry

As you know, words create our reality. Truth or truth?

I have a friend that is one of those apologizers, you know the ones that say ‘I’m sorry’ to everything. You have one or two of these friends in your life, too? Oh, you live in Canada and it is part of your national heritage, eh? Sorry is a game you played in your childhood? Me too.

In most cases, when we say ” I am sorry”, it socially means:

sor·ry

adj. sor·ri·er, sor·ri·est

1. Feeling or expressing sympathy, pity, or regret: I’m sorry I’m late.

2. Worthless or inferior; paltry: a sorry excuse.

3. Causing sorrow, grief, or misfortune; grievous: a sorry development.

So in short, you are aware and recognizing something you have done wrong or unfair, and using a simple word in the English language to openly accept the wrong, start a conversation, and/or make it right.

I am down with that.

However, what I am not down with is ‘I’m sorry’ for a good-bye, a thank you or simply a word filler.

Listen, listen, listen to you how you speak.  Check in:  Are you apologizing for living a ridiculously rad life?  Are you apologizing for being honest?  Are you really sorry for being awesome?  Let’s see here, are you really sorry or are you thankful?  Are you sorry or are you feeling like you do not deserve it?

Let’s get real.  Define it.  And, own it.

Get in choice around your words. Stop apologizing for being you.

Stop now.

Wharton Wednesdays: TruthBombs

Guest Blog Series written by my dear friend, an epic graphic designer and a rad chic in my life book,  Caitlin Wharton.  Featured every Wednesday for Wharton Wednesdays! Read on and enjoy:

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I am back on the friend-dating scene, mi compadres.

Week in review

After last Wednesday’s post, something unexpected happened. I had friends texting me, replying to my want ad, saying things like ‘FINALLY’ and ‘I have been here for years and don’t have my tribe yet, either!’. I had outright down-on-one-knee proposals and friends setting me up with that cute blonde that they know saying we were ‘made for each other!’ To say I was floored would be a gross understatement.

 

Week 1 approach: Hard-to-get

Thursday rolls by and I nonchalantly add my new friends to Facebook, lazily hit reply to the messages and generally be an all-around jerky friend, waiting for my new friends to make the first move. Busy with freelance work (read: self-absorbed), and a new job (read: excuses!), I skate through the weekend and by Monday I realize I’ve put no effort into actually hanging out with these new remarkable human beings who, wait for it… WANT to be my friends.

 

Now it’s noon on Tuesday and I get invited to a beach-side BBQ by a co-worker who is throwing a party for her friends Amy and Trevor, in town for a wedding. For 1 full year, these totally awesome people lived on the same block as me, had a dog the same age as my pup, Oscar and we would strike up casual conversation and joke around daily as the dogs played together in the field. We’d grab the leashes and say see-ya-later. Then one day they said see ya long-later – they were moving to Ontario to start anew.

 

So naturally, we go to the BBQ and to no one’s surprise, we have so much fun getting to know our dog-park friends in a non-dog-park setting. My boyfriend Mike and I leave the BBQ and sitting at home we’re filled with a whole lotta “they’re-actually-really-awesome”’s and “i-wish-we-would-have-gotten-to-know-them-better’s”. One year of playing hard to get with the dog park neighbors? Yeah, doesn’t work in the world of friend-dating. Just like desk-side texting, and facebook-adding doesn’t work when you’re building your tribe.

 

Verdict

Friend-dating truthbomb #1

Put it out to the universe, baby! You, too, would be shocked to find out just how many people are looking.

 

Friend-dating truthbomb #2

Get off yo ass. Good friends aren’t hard to find. They’re all right under your little nose as you’re too busy throwing green tennis balls.

 

Dana, Tess, Alia – look out. You gals are next.  xo